We met at a Goodwill Thrift Store....

Chuck - I had been looking at online dating sites like Plenty of Fish and eHarmony and dating a lot around Clarksburg and Morgantown WV since 2008 without much luck. In early 2010 I moved to a new job in Charleston WV, close to where I grew up in Beckley. After getting settled into my new digs (which includes renting a really neat old dairy farmhouse a short commute from work in a private setting) I decided to check out the local dating scene there. From the first time I wrote to Wendy I could tell she was something special, sparky and fun ;)  Her dating profile had a poem written about a dream picnic on the rim of the New River gorge near where she lived in Fayetteville, and I had to write that I knew where it was, had been there hiking alone. I thought a trip to Fayetteville for weekend dates was doable. I used to go to Beckley to visit my parents every weekend. So for the next two weeks we emailed and texted back and forth constantly, including during a vacation trip I made to Virginia Beach - just having her in mind to share things with made it a great time, although I was by myself.

After that trip we arrange to meet at the Goodwill Thrift shop in Beckley on Saturday - I got there early, kept an eye out and tried to contain the excitement - She was going to shop as normal and I would go try to pick her up but could not keep a straight face for that act!  We ended up buying a lot of new cloths, sat close together on a couch for sale browsing thru a copy of Gentleman's Quarterly, then headed over to Wal-Mart to shop for glasses.

My intuition about this being a special lady grew as we sat in the glasses shop trying on pairs, sitting up close. We spent the rest of the day together and even went out to watch the sunset at her favorite place on a country road. I went back the next day on Sunday and we went out for a picnic in the gorge on some rocks by the river, had a fine time and I knew then my fate was sealed.

Wendy says - I never thought I'd concede to online dating.  For someone MY age it just seems.... well.... icky. My generation has a limited view of this new social tool.  But I was lonely, and stuck -- the only two guys my age who'd turned my head here in TinyTown were not a available. One turned out to be gay and the other liked young stuff. Even so, when my friend Candi suggested I try looking online to get out of a depressed slump, I said, “Not for me!”  But months and months went by, no dates …. and I remembered what Candi had said.  'I've got to get out of this slump', I thought. 'Maybe Candi is right.... I should try this.'  So I gritted my teeth, and hunkered in for the big job of selling myself online.

 

What is good about Wendy? What does she have to offer??  To my great surprise, writing the profile statement was just what the doctor ordered. I had to look within, find out what positives I had, and put it on virtual paper. Ha! Suddenly, I was no longer a reject – I was a charming person with gifts!  Amazing how that works, putting your best foot forward. Yes, it's good for the soul to count your blessings and number your assets. 

 

So I held my nose, jumped in the pool… and began dating.  After a lonnnnng Spring and Summer of 2012 spent meeting a long string of eligible bachelors, I was somewhat tired. Dating at my age is friggin' weird. <Heck – dating at ANY age is weird -- so says my 20-something daughter (making me feel much more normal)....>

 

So when in August 2010 'ChuckfromBeckley' wrote 'Wendy Barbara' online, it was.... 'yeah, right... here we go again'.  Only one profile pic. [Huh]. Bland. Profile essay was vague ... the 'usual'.

 

But I *know* most men are no good at marketing themselves (like us girls, who have played with Barbies from the early days).... I *know* they don't have time or motivation to write a truly expressive synopsis of themselves.... Yeah: I *know* ya gotta read between the lines. Might miss a good one otherwise.  So I decided to respond to 'ChuckfromBeckley'. His first email was mildly flirty: he suggested I couldn't be from Fayetteville WEST VIRGINIA; I must be from somewhere else, because no girls like *me* could be found in WV. (Or at least, that's my dim recollection of his ice-breaker).  I smiled and was properly flattered.

 

“I'm an alien," I replied. I don't belong here.” …. my profile stated that I need 'shiney*' stuff and a 'different kind of air'. Yes, indeed, I do.

 

He commenced to open my eyes with a quantity of shiney stuff in the next few emails. I saw there (immediately) a gentle spirit possessing a sensitive, keenly intelligent, appreciative view of the world. He could see what most people miss. He could see divine beauty in the ordinary.

 

Holy Cow!!!

 

That doesn't happen often. I certainly wasn't finding such among the other online and out-of-line fellas I was dating.  It gave me pause.  Before I could blink, we were writing 20+ little-to-longish email communications a day. Dialoguing. Communing. Kindred Spirit-ing.  I began to think he might be a lot of fun… and wishing he weren't too shy to ask me out so I could see. 

 

Meanwhile, we swapped online dating stories.  He complained that women had it easy -- men have to do all the initiating and get nothing but rejection… or women who are too old/flaky/needy/manly.  So I began making friendly suggestions about how he could 'improve his marketing' and get more hits from the ladies:

·         lose the picture in the frumpy shirt by the bland car.  Replace it with closer shots of a happy fellow in a nice outfit

·         include MORE than one photo

·         get rid of the aviator glasses

·         change the hair.  All of it.

 

I made a Photoshop 'redo' using a pic he sent and drew on longer sideburns, a 'soul' patch, and longer mustache sides.  Gave him longer hair, too.  Then I suggested if he wanted, I could help him pick out a few jackets and shirts at Goodwill (see where I'm going with this?).  Wouldn't cost much.  So…. he arranged our first 'date' at the Goodwill in Beckley.

 

Hahaaaa!  It worked!  And… it's still a favorite haunt.

 

For the record (and my own nostalgia purposes), here are some of the hundreds of email exchanges that happened between August 14, 2010, and our first date 2 weeks later.  They show what is brilliant, singular, shiney, and surprising about this wonderful man:

 

(The very first emails we sent were through the online dating application and are now lost.  This is the first email sent to my regular address, 5 days later):

 

From: chuck

Sent: Thursday, August 19, 2010 8:29 AM

To: wwaportraits

Subject: Telegram for Ms Akison

 

 Email, email, wonderful wordy email

finger taps across miles of wires and routers

Bringing thoughts to brighten your day

And make you say it's good to be alive

there's so much going on 'going forward' as the business guys are fond of saying.

 

High plateau in the morning, is it busy or sleepy this time of day?

Do you get much fog?

Did you wake up thoughtfully alert and enjoy a fresh outlook from a nights healing dreams

or do you like to remain in a groggy half awake dream world?

 

Bet you don't indulge in much coffee, caffeine in the morning?

 

--Chuck

==========================

From: Wendy Wassink Ackison
Sent: Thursday, August 19, 2010 6:00 PM
To: Chuck Swiger
Subject: Poem: A BRAND NEW DAY

 

<I never write poetry. This email inspired the following:>

 

A BRAND NEW DAY

 

I jumped up out of slumber

after only 5 short hours

...for some reason I felt urgent to go peeking at my mail.

 Your fingers tapped some shiney

over miles of wires & routers...

to brighten up my day and make it good to be alive.

  ---------------

….I tap, tap, tap my answer

in the Grey light of the keyboard

and the phrases curl around each other, dancing to a tune.

 

“I am a flightless night owl,

 groaning groggy on my rising

in the spectral mornings after nights of visiting online.

 

“I am drinking no more coffee

that once popped my eyelids open

and thumped me into jumping only just some years ago.

 

“So I'm blinking at your message

and I see no fog unfurling

from out my cave's one window where the brisky shoes walk by.

 

“Yet....

a telescope could snake around

the corners of these buildings

and curl over to a view which is unfolding in the gorge.

 

“The fog is rolling lightly

as it licks along the catwalk,

where the drunken teens have clambered through the secrets of the night.

 

“That pleases me, the mind's eye

that you brought me with your tap, tap....

the puffy stuff of morning where the valley  meets the bridge......

 

==========================

 From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Friday, August 20, 2010 7:33 AM
To: Wendy Wassink Ackison
Subject: Re: Brand new day

 

Wendy, this breath stopping reflection
gives one pause, it's slightly scary
for at once I'm smiling without trying
yet apprehensive. It seems momentous:
If I happened to have touched someone,
Lord, Please let it not cause pain
Don't let my all too human failings cause anybody harm
Don't let me dissappoint.
I want to make cats purr, scratch birds ears
untill their feathers stick out and their eyes glaze over
Hand out Scooby snacks and watch them beg for more.
These hands, exercising fingers all day
Enjoy massaging soft shoulders and giving back rubs
the entire movie.

Ok then, so don't
make expectations, hopes
Just go about your day and feel
a growing, dimming glow from the rare encounter with a kindred spirit
and a little less loneliness.
Share, confide, laugh, conspire,
sympathize and commiserate
It's just the way it should have been
All along.

==========================

From: cswiger@gmail.com
Sent: Saturday, August 21, 2010 12:28 AM
To: Wendy Barbara
Subject: Bedtime story

 

Once upon a time
There was a fairy princess
Every day she stole away
To give a boy her kisses

He loved the fairy so
And could not let her go
So when she left it felt as if
His heart had lost it's soul.

==========================

From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2010 2:59 PM
To: Wendy Wassink Ackison

Well, us Germans try so hard to be sophisticated, cultured and refined, then every couple of generations go totally ape shit and try to conquer the world ;)   

 

==========================

From: Wendy Wassink Ackison
Sent: Sunday, August 22, 2010 3:07 PM
To: 'Chuck Swiger'

 --- Yeah, it's hard to get people to look beyond all the square sounds in German that make you sound like you're wearing wooden underpants.

 

 ==========================

From: Wendy Wassink Ackison
Sent: Monday, August 23, 2010 10:11 AM
To: 'Chuck Swiger'
Subject: one of a kind touch Olympian

 
Aw, do you know any couples who you wish you could be like? You know, not just putting on appearances but you know they are practically made for each other.

I envision a sweet sort of lady to spend evenings and night and mornings with, sit close to, talk low - guess I miss some sort of pillow talk, a co-conspirator as you put it, and can also be her spunky independent self, with, you know, a life of her own. 

----Yes, I miss this too, the whisperings and quantity companionship wherein the quality companionship is born.

 

 (*) I always like, unusual, unique - I'm a guy that buys a little car because it has *3* cylinders, non-conformist type, not reactionary just think for yourself.

 

Not really looking for your typical nice girl-next-door if she ain't got that special something nobody else has.

 

==========================

From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Monday, August 23, 2010 11:28 AM
To: Wendy Barbara
Subject: Lots of guys

 <after finding out that I had been dating quite a lot>

So, to help fill the lonliness you could put up with a guy being there *all the time* no matter if he's feeling Grumpy, Bashful, Sleepy or Happy, Sneezy, Dopey, or Smart? How about when he's Jumpy, Deafy, Dizzey, Hickey, Wheezy, Baldy, Gabby, Nifty, Sniffy, Swift, Lazy, Puffy, Stuffy, Tubby, Shorty or Burpy?

How about when he's:

·         Silly

·         Sappy

·         Scrappy

·         Snappy

·         Snoopy (1)

·         Goopy

·         Gloomy

·         Gaspy

·         Gabby

·         Blabby

·         Flabby

·         Crabby

·         Cranky

·         Lazy

·         Dizzy

·         Dippy (2)

·         Dumpy

·         Dirty

·         Deafy

·         Daffy (3)

·         Doleful

·         Woeful

·         Wistful

·         Soulful

·         Helpful

·         Awful

·         Graceful

·         Tearful

·         Tubby

·         Weepy

·         Wheezy

·         Sneezy-Wheezy

·         Sniffy

·         Puffy

·         Stuffy

·         Strutty

·         Shorty

·         Shifty

·         Thrifty

·         Nifty

·         Neurtsy

·         Hotsy

·         Hungry

·         Hickey

·         Hoppy

·         Jumpy

·         Jaunty

·         Chesty

·         Busy

·         Burpy

·         Baldy

·         Biggy-Wiggy

·         Biggo-Ego

 

==========================

From: Wendy Wassink Ackison
Sent: Monday, August 23, 2010 1:13 PM
To: 'Chuck Swiger'
Subject: RE: Lots of guys

 

…. you forgot Shitty.

 

==========================

From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Monday, August 23, 2010 1:24 PM
To: Wendy Wassink Ackison
Subject: Re: Lots of guys

 

Trying to imagine something, say Prince Chawmin' is living in the woods with 7 'dwarfettes', what would their named be?

Smiley
Candy
Peachey
Cheeky
Bitchey
Tasty
Slutty
Chatty
Giggly

          <hahahaaaaaaahahaha!  This exchange STILL makes me laugh.  Every time I read it.>

==========================

From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 1:18 PM
To: Wendy Wassink Ackison

   You didn't ask what my big strange idea for a meeting was...

<at this point, we are talking about getting him gussied up at Goodwill….>

==========================

From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 2:08 PM
To: Wendy Wassink Ackison
 

On Tue, Aug 24, 2010 at 1:41 PM, Wendy Wassink Ackison wrote:

Okay, what is your big strange plan?


Usually before I'd just wait at a bench in the mall or restaurant at a certain time or something, anxiously scanning the crowd for a familiar face.

Boooooring!

Thought if you'd like to play a little you just let me know when you'd be shopping where and I'll hunt around for you and try to strike up a conversation like a complete stranger just meeting for the first time. Would take a little acting or role playing but it seems to me the worst that could happen is we die laughing at my pick-up skillz.

 

==========================

From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 2:45 PM
To: Wendy Wassink Ackison
 

On Tue, Aug 24, 2010 at 2:19 PM, Wendy Wassink Ackison wrote:

 

Whoa!  That WOULD be fun!  You certainly have the advantage with my massive FaceBook photo galleries to go by.  I think I'd have big trouble spotting you with your ONE profile photo.

 
You know the general description, 6' tall, a few extra lbs *, short cut hair. Just imagine, the sky's the limit, you could brush me off with, 'If you don't leave me alone I'm calling the store manager!' , or 'sorry I've got to meet my husband for lunch', maybe I'll be charming enough to get you to let me buy you ice cream and get your phone number.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry but what's so funny - Did I spill guacamole on my shirt again?   Say, what's your name?"

On Aug 25, 2010 12:57 PM, Wendy Wassink Ackison <wwaportraits@wwaportraits.com> wrote:

 

Hahaaahaaa….

 I just dragged out PhotoShop and gave you a Soul patch, some sideburns, and grew your hair a bit ….

 You lookin' good, dude…

 

==========================

From: Chuck Swiger
Sent: Thursday, August 26, 2010 10:54 AM
To: Wendy Barbara
Subject: Everyone has a differnt gait

 Here's a couple of poems I love, from memory, first is Emily  Dickinson:

Tell all the truth but tell it slant
success in circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm delight
the truth's superb surprise

As lightning unto children ease
with explanations kind
The truth must dazzle gradually
else everyone be blind

And a favorite from a Johnny Hart  B.C . comic strip 'He who' series:

He who masters rhetoric
serves ego to a fault
He feeds on gullibility
and leads his prey about

Beware of those who use their prose
in devious endeavor
For if they knew of simple truths
They'd need not wax so clever

 

These are just a few of the exchanged emails before our first date....


 * I know how to spell 'shiny'. I just prefer it as 'shiney'.